• Amelia Hope

You are worthy of expectations!

Have you ever heard someone say that the secret to happiness is "no expectations"? Because no expectations means no disappointment? And therefore no disappointment equals to happiness? Wrong. When I say wrong, I always mean, 'wrong in my opinion' but here's why I think so:


You are WORTHY of expectations. Yes that's right. I used to agree with the above statement until I realised that deciding not to have any expectations so that you can avoid disappointment is a form of surrender! Blimey, "surrender" and I can't fit in the same sentence. I can say that I was a bit of everything in life, apart from "fake" and a "quitter", so from me you will only get honesty and words of encouragement.


Disappointment happens when your expectations fail. So what? It doesn't mean that you shouldn't have expectations. My happiness does not depend on my failures or the lack of them. It depends on how much I love myself and therefore how much I am willing to persist so that my disappointments lead to the results I expect and more. You love yourself? So how much are you willing to go the extra mile for yourself? Surely, refraining from having any expectations is not going the extra mile. It is walking with blinkers and tons of heavy armour. Walk free, experience it all. Do not limit yourself because you fear the negative outcome. You will see that positive and negative are both positive experiences in the end. One is obvious and the other is forcing you to see your weaknesses or mistakes and giving you a chance to tweak them into positive improvements.


Failure is crucial for your development and hence, so is disappointment because they are correlated. You are allowed to fail. What you are not allowed to do is give up when you do fail! I don't mean that you have to keep hoping you'll get back with your ex. I mean that if your relationship did fail, you do not give up on yourself by letting it mess up your personality, destroy your confidence / self-respect or by crying your way back into the relationship. You move on with your head held high, learn from it, apply any self-improvements and get ready to embrace the next love, like you've never been hurt before. You had expectations that the relationship would work, otherwise why would you have committed to it? Your relationship failed and therefore you are feeling disappointed. So what do you do? You take failure and disappointment by the bal*s and mold them into a better form of you, so that you are ready to embrace the next adventure with more wisdom and therefore with a bigger chance of success!


Whatever you get into, you should always have at least one fundamental expectation for that something. For example, for me, my fundamental expectation of a relationship is loyalty. Just because I'm afraid of losing my partner, it doesn't mean that I have to give up on my fundamental expectation so that if I am cheated on, I am not disappointed. I deserve to have expectations and if it's worth the try, it's worth the risk of getting hurt. If disappointment occurs, I have to move on because I know that I deserve someone who respects my basic, fundamental values and expectations. It will hurt and I will be sad for a bit because I am human, but happiness will follow as soon as I've gained the benefits of that experience, applied the necessary improvements and began to enjoy a better me. When you enjoy a better you, you love yourself stronger and this creates an abundance of positive energy that vibrates all around you and comes back to shower you with more positivity - some people call it "the law of attraction". This state of being also encloses you in a positive bubble that repels all the negativity that is being expelled by those who do not live by this rule. I promise, this is true and you need to experience it! This applies to everything. Career, business, hobbies, psychological issues, health problems, love... you name it.


My equation for this is "failure + persistence = stepping up your game". And what do you need to do to achieve competitive advantage? You need to step up your game. How are you supposed to step up your game if you are afraid of setting expectations because you are afraid of disappointment? Behind many exceptionally successful people, there are numerous failures and disappointments. Just imagine what you'll be able to achieve when you realise that failure is the best thing that's ever happened to you?... Exciting isn't it?!


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