• Amelia Hope

Deciphering life with self-love

I want to inspire as many of you as possible. I'm not a life coach or a guru of any kind but I've turned my life around pretty drastically and have been through a hefty number of horrible experiences in my life (as many have). Because I've managed, I want you to manage as well and that's why I like to help and offer support, that’s why I am an artist, that’s why I do music – I just love making people happy, sometimes I just have to remember to not forget about myself in the process (I’m human after all).

In life, there is one simple thing that you need to achieve and that is self-love. Self-love is the KEY to your success, be it in your career, love, family, friendships, you name it! The trick is that as self-love is the way to decode life and your mission in it, it does not come easy. You know you love yourself when you can't help seeing beauty in everything and everyone, including yourself. Even in your enemies or those who hurt you. Even in the bad times. Remember that famous Moulin Rouge quote that says: “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return?” Scrap that. How about this? "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love yourself, the rest will follow."

So here's what happens when you truly love yourself. You accept only what makes you move forward in life. Some real life examples here:

1) you won't be stuck in bad relationships because you know you deserve better so you take action because you know that your life does not depend on your partner;

2) when you're single, you won't be desperate for a loving relationship either because you know that your happiness does not depend on that other person. It depends SOLELY on yourself and you already feel loved because you have the greatest love of all: self-love, the one that really makes you feel complete;

3) when you are in a relationship, you're not needy with that person because you don't NEED them; instead, you WANT them. Nobody likes a needy person and there's a big difference between want and need. If you keep ruining your relationships, that’s a possible reason why;

4) when someone compliments you or when your partner offers you love, you accept it because you know you deserve it. A lot of people end up ruining relationships because they don't think they deserve to be loved and therefore they self-sabotage. Ever wondered why you're always nice to people and they end up treating you like crap? That's why. They either don't love themselves and don't think they deserve your good treatment or you don't love yourself so you're acting desperate by offering love to people who are already not treating you very well and that's unattractive, it pushes people away;

5) you know your worth so you won't be afraid of taking a leap forward in your career. You believe in yourself so you will throw yourself at every good opportunity out there because you know you can and you're not afraid of failing. If you fail, you get back up and dust yourself ready to take on the next challenge. Fail 100 times, stand back up nice and tall, chin up 101 times. This makes you pro-active, hence your chances of success are now higher because you're not procrastinating. This also means that no matter how high up the ladder this attitude gets you, there’ll be no regrets later on in your life because you know that you did everything you could to get there and therefore there’s no self-blaming to do;

6) you appreciate everyone around you and their talents so you're humble because although you love yourself, you accept where you stand in the hierarchy of talents, you want to team up and learn from those who are better than you, rather than envy them. Humility brings more greatness in your life. Arrogance won’t. In fact, from my experience in music, the best musicians I met have been the most humble and treated me like a sister;

7) you get to know yourself better and therefore are able to decode your purpose in life – isn’t that what we’re always wondering? Who we are... why we are here?

8) you attract the right people and opportunities in your life because you are sending out good vibrations and let’s face it – who doesn’t want to be around someone with such a positive and beautiful aura?

9) you do not live in fear. Of course you’ll always have those little things you’re afraid of. My worst one, aside from the obvious (losing a loved one, etc) is cockroaches… Ewww I just can’t! But anyway what I mean is that when you truly love yourself, you won’t refuse a beautiful opportunity of love or career just because you’re afraid of being hurt or failing. Go for it, you deserve it!

If you want a hint on how to embark on this guaranteed beautiful journey, begin by being grateful for everything around you and envisage the most amazing things happening to you. Invest time in some mindfulness challenges – they will teach you how to appreciate even the smallest of things such as the water flowing as you wash your face in the morning – throw all your senses to it, feel how it caresses your skin, see and listen to how it flows. When I do this it makes me feel like I’m at the spa. Notice everything around you when you’re walking outside and appreciate all the details – the buildings, the sky, how people move and talk, the scents, the colours... just live in the moment, stop pondering about your future, stop thinking about your past. Every day is an opportunity to be a better you! If you’re constantly thinking about the past and the future, you will never live because we only exist in the present.

You CAN do this. When they say “be careful what you wish for”, it’s very true but that’s not only for the negative thoughts. So can you imagine what you can achieve if you swapped those negative thoughts with positive ones? It’s a state of mind. I get slightly disappointed when I ask people how they feel today and the answer I get is “Mehh… not great, the weather is horrible today!” Pfff… as if your happiness depends on the weather! Start by changing your attitude towards such questions. Next time someone asks how you are, try answering “Excellent, thank you!” and S.M.I.L.E.!!! Don’t underestimate the power of a big, beautiful smile! You might have to train yourself to believe it at first but eventually, you will really start feeling “excellent”. A special person in my life recently told me that he can’t stand anyone uttering the word “impossible”. I can’t agree more. When you’ve achieved self-love, you’ve reached the best state of mind you can be in, you’ve deciphered life, and hence NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. Enjoy the ride!

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